SELF Research

Under the Water

UNder the water

Water

H2O
a clear  liquid, without colour or taste, that falls from the skyas rain and is necessary for animal and plant  life:
(Cambridge Dictionary)

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The relationship between water and me cannot be separated. I have been live next to sea or river for a whole life. I also was attending to swing school since I was a baby. I wanted to be a married when I was a child, and I could swim like a fish.

My drawing always has some elements of water or get inspirations from the water. So, I decided to research about water.

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Going Nowhere E.S

Even though I lived right next to the beach when I live in America, I could not go to the beach since I was too busy for the college works. It was the toughest years for me in my life; 15 minutes to 2 hour sleep, not a time to eat foods, study almost 24 hours every day. I went to the beach when I truly depressed at night. Seating on the dark beach alone and just watching the deep ocean with listening to Elliott Smith's Going Nowhere for a while. While watching the see, I was keep thinking, "the horizon of the ocean is endlessly expanding, but why I feel going nowhere, or why I cannot going somewhere. " I kept asking the question to me for over 2 years, but I still cannot get the answer. Even though after I came to London, I feel going nowhere when I see the river or ocean. When I was a child, I though the ocean was like a treasure chest, and the only place I can feel comfortable or home. However, it changed as a symbol of depression for me. I think ocean symbolize myself. I changed as a grow up, the meaning of ocean for me changed.  If I change, it will change. 

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Somewhere

These are one of my favorite movie scenes. I feel every motion in the water is beautiful because the time that humans can spend in the water is a very limited. I feel more energy and emotions in there rather than motions on land. 

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Whip It

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Even thought this is a picture, it looks like two different photographs. I did not realize that until I look the picture carefully. The bottom part is more energetic rather than the top part. So, I prefer to cut off the top part of the photograph.

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"Going Nowhere"

He waved hello silent like a mime
We met, there's no changing my mind
I won't walk the stairs with you tonight
Going nowhere
The clock moved a quarter of a turn
The time it took a cigarette to burn
She said you got a lot of things to learn
Going nowhere

Saw you move a certain way
Missed you a lot
Return to this abandoned place
Should a been forgot
Echoes drown the conversation out
Echoes that only seem to bring about
A silent expression
Things you may allow
Going nowhere

The steps made a pattern
I'd never seen
I felt like a kid of six or seventeen
I was off in some empty day dream
Going nowhere
It's dead and gone matter of fact
Maybe for the best
Said some things you can't take back
Honestly i guess

The old records
Sitting on the floor
The ones i can't
Put on anymore
He walked over to her like before
Going nowhere
Going nowhere
Going nowhere
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Lara Swift

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Drown (Verb)

to ​die by being under ​water and ​unable to ​breathe, or to ​killsomeone by causing this to ​happen:

to have or ​experience too much of something:

(Cambridge Dictionary)
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Drown IN

Drown in

to have more of something than you are able to deal with:

drown (someone or an animal) in something

to cause someone or an animal to die of asphyxiation in a 
liquid. 
He accidentally drowned the cat in the bathtub. 
She drowned herself in the lake.
See also: drownin

drown someone in something

Fig. to inundate someone with something. 
(See also drown in something.) 
will drown you in money and fine clothes. 
See also: drownin

drown in something

1. . Lit. to be asphyxiated in some liquid. 

2. Fig. to experience an overabundance of something. 
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J.W

But if I sit in the rain maybe I can drown in something other than my own thoughts

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I agree with J.W. I need to create something from nothing or give a shape to my thought. The bottom photograph reminds me to drown in thought.

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